This week has been a very busy week.  JD put in a lot of time at the office – much-needed time.  I knew this was going to take place this past week.  I was mentally prepared to take the extra responsibilities of the children’s sports, church activities, driving, and all the evening requirements. 

A few curve balls thrown in this week.  As mentioned in a previous post, but all seemed to be working out.

Until…….this evening.

JD had a business event to attend.  I took all kids to our daughter’s volleyball match.  Which was a 3 hour undertaking by the time we left and then returned home.  A little challenging with an almost 2-year-old.  He did great and it was a nice time.

On our way home, we called JD, who had been home for over an hour.

I knew as soon as I talked with him that he had some to drink.  Thinking it was at the event he attended earlier in the evening.  But to my surprise, he asked if I would like a drink when I got home?  And he just wanted to prepare me beforehand, that he was having some cocktails.  And to get the being upset out before I came home.  Really??  Are you serious??

So when I arrived home.  I got all the kids out of the car, brought them in the house and started preparing myself to do a workout.  I filled a water bottle, prepared an energy drink and took some of the supplements I take before a workout.  Went downstairs, changed into workout clothes and rode the elliptical for 88 minutes.  7.6 miles and burned a little over 700 calories.

One thing is for sure – his decisions that make me angry sure do help with my workouts!!  It’s become a stress reliever for me.  A way to escape into my own world – away from others.  A place where I don’t have to answer to anyone, talk to JD, associate with him while drinking.  But a place where I do a lot of thinking and holding my tongue.  Well the tongue – because no one is around.

I’m mostly upset with the fact that he still hasn’t lived up to his word.  The things he tells me he’s going to do, and doesn’t.  The areas I have expressed how important they are in our marriage, and have not been addressed.  Not much change in the strengthening of our relationship.

His desires and schedule are fulfilled first.  I choose to continue to not drink, seek the Lord and occupy my time with things that are healthier and more productive.

I continue to pray that he will some day fill his time with God.  Not alcohol.


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