I called everyone I could on my way to the hospital to let them know that he was going to be okay. But that’s all the information I could give them at this time.
Shortly after arriving at the hospital, I spoke with David, the social worker on duty. He wanted to speak to me first and receive past and present information. We talked for a while. During the conversation he informed me that JD had not fully settled down. There was actually a guard outside of his room because he was irate. During the time the paramedics were with him, he tried to bite them and was not cooperating. Due to this, they had to put restraints on him. David would not be visiting him until he had calmed down.
I wanted to continue to wait until David had talked to JD. At which point I wanted to hear what David had to say regarding the situation. I was able to be in a private waiting room, which was nice to have some time alone to think.
During this time, I also made some phone calls to my children and JS, Uncle B and his brother. Uncle B asked if I had called our pastor? Uncle B also knows Pastor R. So I asked him if he would be able to call and talk with Pastor R? He said he would. During this waiting time, a nurse came in to inform me that David still had not seen JD, but I could leave because they were going to be keeping him overnight. They were looking for a hospital to transfer him to. The hospital we were currently at didn’t have the psychiatric ward, so he needed to be transferred. The nearest possible hospital was full. So they were looking for an available hospital. I replied, “I still would like to speak with David, if that’s possible?” She said, “I’ll let him know”.
Shortly after, I received a call from our pastor. He was just finishing with a few things at the church, which is just up the road from the hospital, and asked if I wanted him to stop by? “Yes! That would be very welcomed!”
When Pastor R arrived, he came into the private room where we talked and prayed for quite a while. Something that I desperately needed right now!
I told him the whole situation. Pastor R knows of JD’s struggles. They have a mens meeting together on Wednesdays, a time which JD has been seemingly transparent. So this was not a complete surprise to our pastor. One thing he did mention regarding JD’s accusations of having an affair, was enlightening. He explained not many men can come to terms that their wife could be as strong as you are, take such a hard stance of leaving as you have and follow through with all of this if they didn’t have a “back-up” plan. It is built into a man to be the provider, strength and mate of the family and wife – even if they are not living up to it. And when a woman stands strong – it must mean she’s getting her strength from somewhere else. And that’s where he will fill this notion with a lie. Okay-that makes sense to me!
Pastor R also asked if I would be able to put my wedding ring back on? He said that doesn’t mean that you are not standing firm in your decisions regarding JD’s drinking, but that you are committed to your marriage. And from what I’m hearing and seeing, you do still want to be married – but not under these conditions. You can still be married and be separated, even if that means living apart for some time. But this act of putting your wedding ring back on provides security for your children and a hope for JD. I agreed and said I would.
By the end of our meeting, it was 11pm. I hugged Pastor R and he left.
David had not been back in to see me and let me know his conversation with JD. It was late, I was tired and the Emergency Room was filling up with others. I could hear buzz words of drugs and alcohol. At that point I thought to myself: “It’s getting busy here, David is not going to have the time to talk – he had more immediate patient attentions. JD was safe, staying overnight. I needed to get home for my children”
So I left. I didn’t see JD that night. And quite frankly, I really didn’t want to! I knew he was safe. And I’ll give a call early in the morning.