Has It Started Again?

My daughter brought the fact to my attention, this past weekend it had been a year since the major shakedown began. She was going to be attending a local Christian youth conference, the same conference she attended a year ago, the weekend that started the process of treatment.

My husband left for an out-of-town, two-week business trip to Texas, in our RV, with his brother on November 30th. I knew the potential hazards of him being out-of-town, alone, for this amount of time. But I’m not his keeper.

During this past summer, he had a business trip to Florida, alone in the RV. He did tell me many, many weeks later that he thought I knew he had “casually” drank in the evenings while watching sports. His quote, “it was no big deal, and I don’t want any now, no harm.”

Well? Let’s put everything into perspective! He is back taking “the prescribed” amount of Vicodin for his back pain. This has been since the beginning of summer. So……..when was the actual relapse? He wouldn’t call it that. But then again, he still doesn’t think he has a “problem”! So in reality…….in his mind…….has he relapsed? If I were to answer for him……it would be – no. He doesn’t think of this as a relapse. How can someone relapse if they don’t think they actually have a problem?

I watch him make judgements all the time regarding his family members who have been in treatment and relapsed, employees who have been in treatment and possibly relapsed, and people in general who have issues.

Catch 22 for him…..he has said he wants to get off of the Vicodin. He needs my help to do so because he’s addicted to it again and experiences withdrawal symptoms as a result.

Okay so…..this past Sunday: He’s in TX, on business, staying in the RV, watching football and having some beers. Since the knowledge of his drinking on his last trip to FL, I ask him if he’s drinking? He does answer with, “yes, a few beers while watching football.” A statement directed with a “no big deal” attitude. I follow with no emotions or comments of any sort. No negative or positive attitude. And we continue with our conversation.

The next night….this would be Monday night. I ask again, “are you drinking?” He answered, “yes!”

This time….I’m silent. No comment, no tone – nothing. He later calls and I’m a little shorter. He asked what was wrong? I replied with, “I’m tired and I don’t feel good.” Which is the truth because I do have a nasty cold right now and holding the fort down at the home front with 3 children is quite a task. Especially when my 3 y/o is also sick.


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