All day (Tuesday) I contemplated having some sort of discussion with the kids. I have been pretty honest and forthcoming with regards to JD’s addictions. I mean – come on – I only had to fill in the blanks. As always…….they are very perceptive. Knowing more than I ever thought they did. Much too wise at such a young age: 11 and 14.
But I really didn’t have to think about this discussion too much longer. It was early evening when JD called the house and talked with all 3 children and when Faith handed me the phone while saying, “here’s mom.” JD had already hung up the phone. I didn’t have to say anything. They asked me all the essential questions and figured out most of why we were not talking to one another.
So…….the conversation began. Faith was asking most of the questions. Remember…this past weekend she attended a very moving youth Christian conference (the same one she attended a year ago-just before the fall out). She also has referenced that this past weekend was one year since……..”The Big Event” and how it’s amazing that a year has passed and dad hasn’t had anything to drink. Gulp!
How could I sit across from her and allow her to feed JD’s lies? I couldn’t!
She feels betrayed, lied to, scared, and waves of emotions (past and present) overcome her. She feels the attacks of Satan and the battle.
Here’s the thing………I can not believe that JD would think it’s okay drink while away in FL this past summer, continue to take a narcotic drug that he has been highly addicted to in the past, and drink while currently away in TX – all the while acting like “It’s NO BIG DEAL!” Let’s add-on top of all just mentioned that he has not been forthcoming with the children when they have referenced his sobriety, he has chosen to drink on the year anniversary of him almost taking his own life.
Which brings me to one more point. During a meeting, with the doctor from the psychiatric ward, he was informed of how dangerous it is to drink alcohol while taking Vicodin. You literally can shut down organs. He was dumbfounded by this knowledge. And yet……he’s doing it!
And now…….how exactly am I suppose to act and respond?
In the next posts, I will go into detail how his moods, anger, emotions, depression and overall countenance has escalated in the prior few months. Which leads to some extremely worrisome phone calls while being lost in TX. All of which go hand in hand with an addictive personality – one that is leading up to falling from the straight (sober) path.