Three years ago! WOW!
It has been that long since JD went to treatment. Christmas is different now. I don’t think about the bad that surrounds this time of year. Then again I’m not one who lives, dwells in the past too often. Oh, don’t get me wrong……I do remember things of the past, but they keep me on track for the future and not so much kept in the past.
My post today is regarding the aftershocks that happen as a result of the past. Aftershocks with others: family members, friends, acquaintances, etc.
I’m sure many of you who have been in a bad, or difficult situation where others you have been involved with, or hurt in some way will be able to relate. Heck…..I don’t think anyone wouldn’t be included in such an occurrence – either the one who has been affected, or the one who did the affecting offense.
My neighbor JS and my husbands uncle and aunt-in-law, who I have discussed in previous posts are the individuals I will be referring to. These individuals are people who I had become EXTREMELY close to. I shared very intimate details over the past many years, gained a great deal of respect for, trusted immensely and let into a part of me and my life that I have never let anyone. Because of my past, when I was younger, I don’t trust too many people as I am selective who I share things with. I’m also one who tends to do things on my own, rather than asking for help or involving others. Actually (not including my husband) there are only 4 individuals I had trusted to a very deep level – this included these 3.
JD’s uncle flew in from CA to help when JD was admitted to the hospital and stayed a short time to assist in his placement for treatment. I am to this day very grateful! JS was also here for me a great deal, as she lives right next door and we shared so much together – on MANY levels. Trust was built!
In addition, JD’s uncle has been involved in our business. Working it (on a part-time level) in the CA area, has purchased shares in our company and had loaned money with interest to be paid back. A loan that we have been making payments on, again with interest. (This will play into the overall situation.)
Furthermore, we had purchased part of the timeshare on a yearly houseboat vacation with his uncle. This vacation took place yearly, for 10 days, we had started in 2009.
I sought guidance from each of these individuals. Had a very personal Christian relationship with his uncle and aunt, they were more like mentors to me.
As you can see, our lives became quite tangled.
During the first trip, there were some aspects that we wished to address. One main topic was the kind of movies that were being played in the common areas, during the times when the young children were present. On this houseboat, there are 4 families that go, with friends along too. So…..there usually is about 22+ individuals, with an age range of 1 to 17, the majority being children. On the first trip, the older children were playing “R” rated movies, with strong sexual content, violence and extreme language. My husband and I did not agree or like this. It was brought to the attention of his uncle, but it was not taken seriously. Mostly due to the fact that JD was still drinking and was a problem, so his concerns, beliefs or opinions didn’t have much merit. This was relayed to me more than one time. As his uncle and aunt-in-law stated, “Who is he to have these concerns or demands when he behaves and carries on as he does when drinking? What kind of example is he to his children anyway?”
The next years vacation was approaching. JD had been through treatment and it all seemed to be going in a very positive direction with everyone. Because each of the timeshare owners: us and JD’s uncle are able to invite one family to accompany us on the trip – we invited our neighbors. I mean……why not? We ALL got along VERY well, trusted one another, respected one another, were very close, etc. In addition, my daughter brought along a friend. Our neighbor, our family and her friend drove our RV down to Page, AZ – a 23 hour trip. Powertrip actually. And it was quite fun!
Jeff had previously discussed our issues with the movie situation. The friend my daughter was brining, her family is very strict on movies, so we assured her parents what would/wouldn’t be viewed on the trip. The conversation with his uncle left with……they had been thinking that watching these kinds of movies, allowing their kids (who are under the age of 17) to view these kinds of movies was something they wished to do away with in general. Actually they indicated there wouldn’t be ANY “R” rated movies on this trip.
Since everyone supported JD’s recovery, and we were all so optimistic and were very much looking forward to being with one another, we all looked forward to this trip together! It was agreed that there would be no alcohol on the boat and no one had any problems with this. What more could anyone want?
(For the sake of not getting this post too long…….I will continue this situation in multiple posts.)