The enabler is “the rescuer” of the addicted person. As long as the problem is continually swept under the rug, the addiction will continue to progress. No one believes or comes to grips that there is a problem! Denying the problem runs rampant in homes where addiction is fed. The longer the addict continues to use, the worse it is for everyone involved.
What happens to the person who is controlled by addiction? Many things take place, some of the things that control the addict are not always apparent to anyone else. These are only a FEW:
- Emotional imbalance – mentally and spiritually. But what isn’t apparent about addiction is actually the most important element of who a person really is. The lack of spiritual realism. They deny the Holy Spirit to intervene within the framework of who they are. As long as the addicted person continues by themselves, they will remain a slave to their addiction. Unfortunately, it usually takes something very drastic and horrific to happen to the addict before they actually give up their addiction and ask God for forgiveness and help. This is called the “end of the addicts ropes”, or “bottom out effect.”
- Decline of health.
- On the outside, many addicts look like everyone else. They go to church, acknowledge God, raise families and have careers or own businesses. But through all of this, they still lack the spiritual maturity and godly wisdom to realize the impact, and the consequences of their addiction. These things aren’t ‘t important to the addict. For the addict just being able to continue on with their lives without anyone realizing they have a problem gives the addict more justification and credibility for remaining in their addiction. They themselves remain in denial, talking them selves out of having a problem. They must bottom out! The setback with that is, the enabler keeps rescuing the addict’s behavior and so they never bottom out!
The addict, one way or another, must come to grips with thier REAL source of who they are and the potential of their existence. But if the addict is in denial, this is going to be difficult. The addict is usually a selfish and arrogant individual who hasn’t come to grips with who they are. So how can they know, understand, accept, and believe in their creator for guidance?
Enablers can do something to help the addict, but they’re afraid that it will somehow change the addict, or that the addict won’t love them anymore. In essence, the enabler needs to get help first, so they can then help the addict.
The three main (not all) reasons the enabler keeps saving the addict and why the addict can’t stop using:
- Fear – panic, trepidation, apprehension, terror, afraid of the unknown, etc
- Denial – mentally refuse to believe, and emotionally refute
- Spiritual loss – proud, haughty, unbeliever, rebellious, arrogant, self-righteous
The addiction takes hold of the mind with such force the addict is afraid to even think of living without the addiction. Addicts try to stop, but their bodies and mind tell them they can’t. They are filled with fear and terror at the thought of not getting their next fix, afraid they will not be able to cope in life.
But this just isn’t so!