Aftershocks Part 5

My first email in response to the previous emails (listed in posting Aftershocks Part 4)

 

From: Alli
To: “Bxxxx & Lxxx Yxxxxxx”
Sent: Monday, January 23, 2012 6:25:16 PM
Subject: Thoughts

Twelve days ago JD and I received an email from you that indicated you and Lxxx were going ahead with plans for the 2012 houseboat trip.  I know it was mentioned (during the last trip) the possibility of doing an every other year trip, but nothing was concluded. 

I called and spoke to you about this and said we would be getting back to you.  After that conversation, I conveyed to JD some things I felt about you and Lxxx.  I told him the two of you are the closest thing I have to what I call family.  I lost my brother 12 years ago and have no one close in my family.  I felt you two cared deeply about us, have put forth effort and have helped us through some major milestones in our lives.  And you mean a lot to me.  The Powell trip was a nice time to spend together.

I called and left a message on Sunday 1/15 to which we never heard back.

Upon receiving the Lake Powell email, JD shared his thoughts with me.  He said you guys had already made up your minds to how Lake Powell should go and this was your way of dealing with it.  I defended you and the email.  I think JD might have been right.

Further time passed and you wouldn’t return or take any of JD’s calls.

Then came all the emails that have prompted me to respond.

You and I both know JD has made some choices that have not been the best.  But there is one thing I will say…….I don’t know of anyone who has the humility he has.  I know firsthand that he has made humble apologies for numerous things.  Things such as what transpired last Lake Powell trip, the situation a year ago, for hurt he has caused you, and the most recent…an email sent minutes before one of your emails.  These are just the more recent ones.

I have read and discussed this with JD and I can’t help but to see some things.  Within these emails, there is unforgiveness.  And there is much judgment.

Do you have a right to ask such questions as you have presented in these emails?  ABSOLUTELY!

As a friend, Uncle, and investor – you have EVERY right to present these concerns.  But these concerns should be presented to JD and not asked through Marie.  These concerns are based on a conversation which took place a year ago with Marie.  Have you addressed these with JD recently?  I would have reason to believe you haven’t, and because I have had many conversations and dealings with JD in regards to business, I know how each of the mentioned issues have been dealt with.

I can tell you firsthand that the cash IS being deposited.  I know the situation with JD’s brother and this is parallel to you putting cash into the business – just done a little different.

One year ago, JD was advised to not micro manage his employees as much as he did.  He needed to give others responsibilities and have faith and trust that they could manage things.  In doing so, he unfortunately can’t immediately answer some questions presented to him because others handle some of these things.  And the end result is him honestly not knowing some things because someone else has had that responsibility.  Thus, he needs to look into some areas.

I’m not going to address specifics any further.  But what I do want to conclude regarding the emails and situation that has transpired is we feel betrayed.  We feel as though we have gone to you for help and opened up in some very delicate ways and have not been respected.  These things should have been brought forth to us personally.  If you didn’t feel comfortable coming to JD for whatever reason, then at least ask me.  This should not have included Marie.  She is an employee and works for JD.  It is not appropriate to ask her if JD has been drinking and other business and personal issues.  This also creates an uneasy feeling with the employees to have these questions be presented this way. 

And a text message stating your demise of your investment doesn’t need to be presented to Marie.  She is an employee of JD’s.  That would be like your boss texting or having conversations with your staff regarding a delicate situation with you.  Before, or without, coming to you first.

Bxxxx..you and I just had a conversation this past December about how JD’s spending has been significantly under control, all bills are caught up, lines of credit through the bank have been taken care of, and we are starting the new year strong – that this December is a complete contrast to a year ago.

 Yes….we had some hiccups.  But as I also stated, I would be a fool to think there wouldn’t be.  But with the hiccups we have had, as I mentioned in one of our conversations, JD is approachable and empathetic along with sympathetic towards each one.  Just as he was quick to respond with an “I’m sorry” in an email to you.  This is a big difference in JD.

I really do need to defend him here!  You know firsthand, if I feel JD is wrong or I shouldn’t defend him – I don’t.  Even if he is my husband, if he is wrong, I call him on it. 

He has been in the Word every day.  He even came back from an early business meeting one day to complete his Bible reading because he didn’t have time to do it before he went.  He has been evaluating EVERY aspect of his business to make sure he is doing things ethical.  Hence the email that went out stating we are not doing preprints anymore.  As this is not illegal, it does create some confusion sometimes and he wants to avoid this.  This is just one example, and we have BOTH (together and individually) been praying over this business to have the Lord’s direction.  Actullay, we have been in deep prayer personally, financially, family and business wise.  So you can imagine just how much of a surprise this situation has been to us! 

Truly, I feel for him!  Lately, each time he feels as though he’s taking 2 steps forward, he gets knocked back 3 steps.  There have been soooo many times lately that individuals have taken advantage of him, stolen from him, cheated him, and have been outright dishonest.  But through this all, he has not picked up a drink, although he has wanted to very badly – he hasn’t.  He continues to turn to the Lord.

He has been honest with you regarding the times he has slipped and had some to drink.  And he has shared with me he feels judged for this.  I can’t blame him, you have called him unethical and not having Christian standards.  That’s pretty strong.

Should he have accountability?  ABSOLUTELY!  But in a respectful way.  He definitely has deserved this.  If I’m missing something here, please let me know. 

___________________________________________________________________________________________

There was a phone conversation with Bxxxx and he was fairly vague.  Not offering a lot of explanations for his statements, not offering any apologies for his remarks, statements, or actions.  The conversation was for the most part….quite empty.
After giving myself some time to think about how I would reply to the emails.  Many days later…..this is my response…….

 

From: Alli
To: “Bxxxx & Lxxx Yxxxxxx”
Sent: Thursday, January 26, 2012 11:12:34 AM
Subject: In response

The anger you have for JD runs deep.  It is very apparent throughout these last emails this has been brewing for quite some time now based on when these items, you have now presented, had first taken place.  This anger has turned into judgment towards JD, betrayal, disrespect and unforgiveness.  I’m not sure what more he could do?  The standards to which you have set for him are so high, he has no hope but failure.

I will address some specifics.  And again, I believe these should have been brought to Jeff (or me) WHEN they happened.  And, it’s not right to address these things with Marie.  
The cash you are referring to last April.  I (point-blank) asked JD what this was all about.  This one took him a little while because he had no idea what you were referring to.  After a short period, he does remember a transaction that took place where he sold a piece at “below” the opening bid, and even “below” his cost.  Because this sale was so low, there was no commissions to be paid on it.  Therefore, he kept it from being included in the final auction and took care of it a different way.  And “yes” they did pay cash.  JD collects cash and does a large sum deposit.  All cash is accounted for and listed on bid sheets.
I also asked some specifics regarding JD’s brother.  When this decision was made between the two brothers, it was when his brother and wife were still married.  It’s probably more considered a loan, as JD is not paying anything until the tail end, when and if the company is ever sold.  These words of “hiding” the money (I’m assuming) came from JD’s brother?  The money is being handled the same way since the beginning, when his wife knew how it was dealt with.
I also have discovered the UW check situation.  When our company pays for a booth, typically a check is not paid (in addition) to the organization.  Hence, the 2nd check did get voided.  Upon learning about this in your email, JD discussed this with Marie, who knew only a small amount of some questions.  So this created more questions for JD.  A situation that would have been rectified immediately if brought to his attention when it took place.  This is probably the strongest area of his business  – customer relations and satisfaction.  If there is ever a situation, misunderstanding, or someone is unhappy for WHATEVER reason – it is taken care of to the benefit of the customer.   
JD has been working from the home for the past few weeks.  This has allowed me to be in much of the business dealings, which includes the situation with the Fitness Expo.  I was able to be on the opposite side here and I can tell you firsthand that there were no fits on his part.  He was disappointed and did convey this, but I’m afraid that because of all these unresolved issues, you were on the defensive.
Like I mentioned in the email before:  Do you have a right to ask these questions and concerns?  ABSOLUTELY!  But they should be brought to attention at the time of concern, not months (year(s) later.
In being as close as I have been to the business lately, I have seen some very positive things happening.  The most important is JD’s integrity!  I am going to highly disagree with the points you have brought up.  I KNOW firsthand that he is doing things that solidify the integrity of the business.  And I can also tell you how this situation has deeply affected him.  I am in prayer on my knees that he will continue to be strong in coming to the Lord, that he doesn’t sway from the path he has been walking right now.  For the first time in (?), he is doing so many things that are accountable!  My heart bleeds for him right now and I wish I could do more for him!  But I trust in the Lord to take this!
You mentioned that you wished I would have shared some things that were happening with the company.  There was a conversation this past December in which I did share the things I have mentioned.  It would have been a good time for you to share your concerns then.  I informed you just how different the finances, business and JD are right now.  That I have no complaints and feel it is such a contrast from just a year ago.  I praised JD and said we have had some situations that have been dealth with immediately.  How he is very approachable.  I’m not sure what else would be expected of him?  I am so proud of him!  And I don’t have anger or unforgiveness for the past.  I am on guard for things, but I communicate these things to him, and he responds.  Like I stated, I would be a fool to think things won’t come up.  But he’s a different person.  I truly wish you could have given him the benefit of the doubt.  He deserves it, especially when he continues to be humble when he is wrong. 
I’m going to share what I feel has transpired through this all.
In the past, and the most recent past, there has been hurt.  This hurt started a seed that became anger.  The anger feed the seeds that caused lies to be construed as truth.  And with this seed that has been growing; defensiveness, lack of trust, unforgiveness, more anger and many other feelings and actions have been growing.  Because these things have not been dealth with when they happened, we are dealing with the result.
 
This is a very difficult situation!!  I respect the two of you very much and have been blessed with you both.  However, I have to say, I see some things here that I don’t think you realize.  And I see how this has affected JD.  I know his heart, actions, walk, and mind right now – which I have communicated.  And as I mentioned in the last email, I am defending him because I believe it to be the right thing to do.  Not just because he’s my husband, but because he has been wrongly judged and actions held over his head that he has already asked forgiveness from each of you for.
Lxxx….I did receive your message.  Thank you!  You both are very important – to both of us.  I had this email drafted (up to this point) yesterday.  I have read over it numerous times, asked Faith for her opinion to this entire situation (I value her wisdom) and wanted to give it the 24-hour test.  I’m not ignoring you, I just think some time for JD and me to be in prayer and rest would be good right now.  I do wish to discuss this at a time where defensiveness is at a minimum and I want to stop having to be reactive.
I do want to convey some things that I wish “I” could take back, or do differently.  The Lake Powell incident.  I will not defend JD’s behavior.  But I need to take responsibility for my own.  I should not have let my anger swell to a point where it did.  Anger – both before and after the blowup.  I should not have gained the support and momentum like I did with others around.  These are conclusions I have come to through prayer.  JD/we had a right to be upset/unhappy with some things.  But unfortunately, JD’s behavior and actions were the final result of anger that has built up and has been magnetized to this incident.  Again….I am not condoning any of his behavior – he was wrong – admittedly – and asked for forgiveness.  I am taking responsibility for my actions too.  And I have asked for forgiveness for these.
Through some time and prayer I believe answers and/or solutions will arrive.  Until then I/we will wait upon the Lord.
Love
Alli
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